Sunday, November 23, 2008

Of hot chocolate, whiskeys and windy beaches

Posing first before the long road trip














The long winding road.....









It was worth it - the view was spectacular - if only I could get the hair out of my face...






No - seriously, busking is legal in this country...

I collapsed

the other day at farewell drinks in a bar here. (no I was not binge drinking)

Strange.

The odd blackout spells felt somewhat peaceful.

It was as if you just fell asleep in them midst of the noisy chatter.

All is well now - no alarmist type worries.

Still - it is pretty out of the ordinary.

Thank you tho - to those who cushioned my fall

Notes after spring cleaning..

I found a post dated June 2007 in one of my many hidden folders - wondering who was the tiny favour for and why...

I take my small steps, I do not claim to know very much about life and its offerings. I do know one thing though, I am bless with friends that are more valuable than all the money in the world.

What binds us together is not the money, not the power and status that comes with the spending power we have, but the true fact that we know each other and we know each well, in ways that are strange to others.

I often get the notion that I do not behave like I should behave as my gender norms state it. I often get asked why I do not adopt the socially acceptable practices that my gender warrants. Often, I do return home with those questions in my mind, why I am not like the others.

I ramble incessantly, I speak with anger and passion and I care. At least for the little things that impact life. I spoke to someone who recently lost his loved one, in an awful accident, doctors said it was too critical and he could not be saved. That someone appealed to me, I could sense the anxiety in his voice, I could sense the concern and also the anger. He asked for a tiny favour, I pray that his problems will be solved soon.

I can’t say I can change his world for him, but I hope that I played a role in making it better and not reverse it.

It takes a certain type to do what we do. It requires us at the outset to shun all worldly wants and desires and to be content with what little we need, not what we want. It’s a long and winding road and the trail at present seems laden with obstacles, but, as long as we keep on walking, even crawling at times, we will reach the sunset. Rome was not built in a day, and the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

A message sent by a comrade in the same journey. I gain strength from this person, each time and every time.

I hold these words true to myself. Living with the ashes of reality is my belief, not living in a smokescreen of happiness.



Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'm in love..

You've touched these tired eyes of mine
And mapped my face line by line
And some how growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap your thoughts and works of art
And there hanging on the walls of my heart.

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours.

And though my edge is maybe rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
And it may not seem like very much
But I'm yours.

You healed these scars over time
And braced my soul, you loved my mind
Your the only angel in my life
The day the news came, my best friend died
My knees went weak, and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes.

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours.

And though my edge is maybe rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
And it may not seem like very much
But I'm yours.

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I don't fit in that much
But I'm yours.

*I'm allowed a rare emotional and poetic moment - it's a beautiful piece, credit to The Script